Don't worry about front wedgies, we all get them Your friend sounds like a riot, but she is right, swimsuits are for peeing your pants in public in. See your doctor for further information. Yeah I was sober too. I wear them occasionally but not so much during the warm weather for understandable reasons. I slide down and she's already gone in and looking at another rock pool playing with a small crab.
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If you even have a somewhat long shirt, pull it down to hide the stain and then cross your legs when you sit. Figure out how noticeable your wet spot is, and what you will need to mend it. Your post must concern something that has been bothering you for a while, not the rant for the guy that parked in your spot once.
But you may also find the situation to be dire. Everyone looks at me and the manager makes me buy new pants and underwear and change in the bathroom. Wetting yourself in public is far more common than people realize, whether it be situational or a medical.